Rainy Sundays...

I feel a little blue today. It just may be the rainy day getting me down. Or maybe I'm coming down from a sugar high induced by some of my favorite ice cream.

In any case I feel the need to be introspective. You can join me on this little exercise or you can just check back tomorrow.

For those lucky few that have actually had the pleasure of knowing my prickly self you are aware that I am a creature of habit. My predictability is legendary. Club sandwiches, TJ's Chicken Pot Pies and my morning stroll with my off-leash dog, Betty, to get our morning breve.

But I'm a walking contradiction. My entire career and history is about upheaval and change. I attended six different schools and lived in six different cities by the sixth grade. By my current age of 37 I have lived in 17 different residences. I have lived with 3 different women and been married twice. If I actually listed all of my jobs my CV would run 6 pages (I started working full time at 18). I have had multiple careers; television, marketing, IT, programming, DJ, newspaper columnist and Soda Jerk. Most of my adult work was project/freelance based. I'm used to reporting to different locations on different days.

Currently my life is up in the air with the chronologically challenged contractors, the odd-ball rental apartment, my unrequited job search, unfinished and unsold writing projects, programming deadlines, mast cell tumors and sundry major life changes.

One of the reasons I love my current home in Silverlake, CA (you can actually see a slice of our house in this picture from 1938) is that it reminds me of a childhood lake front home in Kimball, MN.

Kimball was, and still is, a small town. I think back to Emily Dickinson and the lifestyle of generations past. I have no way to compare but I think that my life would have proceeded just the same back in those days

As I stroll through my currrent 'hood I see the same people and dogs everyday. I walk into the Coffee Table in the morning and I don't even have to say anything. I hand them three packets of Splenda and $2.47 and they give me a delicious single-shot breve in a large cup. On my walk I may see my friend Frank and his dog Uncle Chi Chi. Or I'll run into my friend Gary and his son Gus. I almost always see Kathy and her english sheepdog Sherlock. Then there's the Silverlake walking man and the creepy bald guy wearing the black fedora. I'll see my neighbors Tats and/or Luz. I'll see celebs just living their life. My famous neighbors include(d) Beck, Traci Lords, Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani, Crispin Glover, Eliza Dushku, John C. Reilly, Kevin Weisman (Alias), Zelda Rubinstein (Poltergeist) and Tamara Braun (General Hospital). I'm sure there are lots more but these are the ones I have seen with my own eyes.

I think that, as a creature of habit, I would do the same stuff regardless of my environment. If I had stayed in Kimball I am certain that my life would be similar. I would walk around Lake Carnelian to the donut shop where I would get a cup of joe. Along the way I would see people fishing, walking and talking. Maybe I would spot the Mayor on his daily constitutional.

With the constantly swirling stress my defense mechanism is to get quiet and focused. I just sort of withdraw into my shell (yes, I'm a Cancer. I grow on you). It's very helpful and probably explains why I'm good at my various jobs. I can just stay cool and get things done instead of running around like a guillotined chicken. However, as I get older I am less able to cope with the tumultuous state of my life. I lean towards seclusion and I often talk to myself carrying out full discussions.

I'm sure that some neighborhood people think of me as the crazy bald guy that talks to his dog.

But my wonderful community draws me out. People wishing you 'good morning' as you pass. Dogs sniffing butts and romping. Stopping to chat with friends or watch the ducks waddling around the reservoir grounds. It feels good to be a part of something bigger and much more constant.

I guess that's why I'm so peaceful here. Wow, I feel better already!

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As of post time I'm listening to Begining To See The Light from the album "1969" by Velvet Underground

When I started writing this entry I was listening to Joy Will Find A Way (A Song About Dying) from the album "Joy Will FInd A Way" by Bruce Cockburn